Jodi Girouard: Hope is Here at Howard Center

“And hope flows like the rush of the Winooski River…”

Hope is here at Howard Center, found near where the struggles are real. Feelings are felt, dealt with deliberate care, where all are treated with dignity to be seen. Between moments spent listening, discerning actions, reactions are considered, heard in the halls that contain life. Strife seeps into the streets and hands in their expert fields are banded, retreats and respite provided for the bits of pain that need to be shared.

I dared to dream of a goal that didn’t fit into the normalcy of a career. Dear to my heart, Career Connections kept my aims afloat. Coated in chaos from my mind I still find compassion for my passion to write and stream each dream with their ideals I see lifted and gifted to me.

Assist freely helps me resist the need to feed my tragic pain. I remain safe, curled up in a nest with a needed rest. Peers support, while staff report on coping skills that fill an empty heart. I start to resume plans of living as I’m giving myself the abilities to cope.

And hope flows like the rush of the Winooski River, the staff givers of time and energy, a simple reverie where the manic moods can whirl away in an eddy with safety’s like pools between the cool banks of the Agency until I can see the calming journey meant for me.

Being on the board with lived experience gave me a sense of duty to give back some of the tangible beauty I have seen and heard in the kindness and words of so many. Mercy and empathy arise in the guise of trained staff, the laughing of two united, to pursue a clearer view.

What is it that sets Howard Center apart? It is the start of conversations, the creation of goals for a life wholly gained. I have remained here for over two decades led by a case manager and psychiatry’s actions of care. I share the blessings gleaned and the joy of ever being heard and seen.

There is meaning here beyond statistics and pay. Dismay is being battled, the old lingo is being rattled as Mental health conditions are heeded in a much needed environment. I have spent four decades with a disabling condition. My position is that there is ever hope here. Clearly the work needs to continue, so much more to do in the new year. I steer myself with the aligned mission of assistance here that gives my life the chance to grow.

I know of heartache, of pain that remains too long and yet I bloom between bouts of being not okay. Today I spoke of the challenges of living with a mental health condition and the position it puts me in to need so much help.

I am thankful there is hope here. I am blessed that I am a client and a former board member. I remember thirty years ago being in a day program overly sedated, fated to sit by a window without clarity. I see so much more in my life. So much more than the gray and depressing strife.

I acknowledge that my trauma is still severe yet I find with the continued support of Howard Center that I am nearer to being nobody but me. And I see beyond my despair to days where kindness gathered rather triumphs the pain and I am released into a comfortable display of peace that may one day ever remain. Hope is near. Hope is here at Howard Center.